How To Be A Mother
Have you every been taught: how to be a mother? If not, do you know how to take care of and educate your children?
“You’ve nice long hair, mom.” A little girl resting her head on her mother’s lap. Her hands were running down her hair, combing it.
Her mom did not answer, instead, she put her finger in her armpit, tickling her. The little girl wiggled and laughed uncontrollably.
Sarah was sitting on a bench few meters away. She was looking at the mother and daughter. “How come I’ve never had such intimacy with my girl?” she thought.
She always sits on the same bench with her husband Bob, every Sunday morning, until he passed away a couple of years ago. She still comes every week, as usual, it has become a routine.
It brought back her memories.
She remembered the daily routine when Margaret was young. Every day she came home from work, Margaret will always be sitting on the kitchen table. Doing her homework. Waiting for her.
She would make Margaret a strawberry jam sandwich with a glass of orange juice. She went and freshened up and started preparing dinner. All the while watching over the kitchen table.
Bob came home not long after and he will sit on the couch, and watch TV.
After dinner, Bob would wash the dishes, and Sarah would check Margaret’s homework. She needs to make sure that everything is right. She demands her girl to do well at school, she believes it is utterly important if she is going to get a well-paid job. She wishes she could have a better life compared to their own.
The same happened every day, each day being a photocopy of the last one.
They were a quiet bunch, no one talked much unless it was absolutely necessary. The one and only subject were her study and homework, almost.
Bob used to say, “don’t you worry. Our little girl will do just fine.” In his southern American accent.
Life was boring and Sarah’s cooking was more boring, she didn’t enjoy cooking. You can count her dishes with your fingers. “What do you expect from a full-time working mom?” It was her excuse. “I am tired after work.” Bob and Margaret never complaint, they just ate what she put in front of them.
Their life seems to have only one purpose, the future of their little girl. It was their dream….
…..their dream came true. Margaret entered Harvard University, she moved away from home. That was the last time they saw her, until one day she decided to get marry. She brought home her future husband, they had a simple wedding ceremony in a nearby church. After that they both got a good job with big international corporations and disappeared oversea.
Once a year, Sarah and Bob received a call from her at Christmas time. The conversation never lasted more than couple of minutes………
The little girl was chasing her mother, trying to tickle her back. The were laughing and giggle, running in circles.
How come we’ve never had such fun in our family? What did I do wrong? I believed I have tried my best, maybe some people are luckier than others. I have sacrifice a lot for my little girl, look what I got in return!
Maybe the above story is a bit too extreme, but I have personally seen families like this. Their only goal is the future of the children, nothing else.
My dear readers. Do you know what she did wrong?
She didn’t do anything wrong, she just did what she think was correct. The reality is, she doesn’t know how to be a mother.
Most people think the most important job of a mother is to feed the family. Yes, we need food for our bodies, but more important is we need food for our soul. Without love, life don’t have meaning.
Mothers need to teach their children how to love and how to show love with actions. Showing ones love is not a born instinct for some. We need to learn how to do that.
How do you show you love them?
- saying “I love you”
- touch their body gently
- looking them in their eyes lovingly
When you do these actions, you child will learn from your examples. If you have never hugged them, kissed them or touched them – they wouldn’t know how to. Even if they do, it will be hard and unnatural. A mother’s job is not to bring up successful kids, but to bring up loving kids.
Bringing up successful kid is the job of the teacher, and the kids own desire.
How about the father, does he needs to play a part as well? Yes, he does. I will have another article – how to be a father?
A family with love shines with happiness. You don’t need to be successful to have happiness.
Have you ever visited a loving family?
You can feel the love, joy and caring in the atmosphere, I have, it was the most wonderful experience. I was lucky to be in a home like this when I was young. It is possibly where my love for the world comes from. I never heard my mom and dad said they were tired even they have worked all day. We were a very poor family, but my parents never told me that I need to be successful and make more money.
My mother was one of the most loving, kind and wonderful persons I’ve ever known. Her love to us is unconditional, we don’t have to do well in school to please her.
When you have love and happiness, you don’t feel tired, your food tastes better and you look more beautiful.
Why do I say bringing and teaching love to the family is the job of a mother?
Have you ever heard of the saying, “when mom’s not happy no one is happy?”
I see love as feminine, it is sensual, gentle and caring. I am not saying male don’t love, they do, but the feminine love is………………more.
Have a lovely day!