How To Be Yourself

If you want to know how to be yourself, you must be going through some sort of identity crisis.  The other reason could be you find it hard to pretend to be someone else, and you don’t want to be a people-pleaser anymore. Or you want others to know the real you, but you afraid that it might destroy the relationship – so you want to learn how to do it properly.

how to be yourself

Before you learn how to be yourself, you need to understand who you really are.  Spend some time on your own and think about the follow questions.  Who am I?

  • what makes me happy?
  • what kind of person am I?
  • who do I love?
  • what are my goals?

Write it down on a piece of paper will help you understand yourself better.

There is a very good article on wikiHow, it teaches you how to be yourself – 

You can refer to this article and find some good advice.  I don’t want to repeat the words of others.  Some of the advice they give you are non-practical, but there is some good advice too.

Do you really think when you become yourself you will be happy?

I can tell you that it is not always true.  You could be more miserable being yourself.

After you understand who you are.  The second question you need to ask is, “Why I want to be myself?”  Is it because you don’t feel comfortable in your relationship or you don’t want to lie, or you don’t like to pretend to be someone else.  Maybe you want others to accept the real you.

It is a very important question.  Why do you want to be yourself?

You might not know exactly why you want to become yourself.  Some people just think it doesn’t feel right or feel comfortable in their relationships.

The next question you need to ask yourself is, “Can I afford to be myself?”

When you become the real you, you might risk losing someone you treasure.  Your friends, your lover, your job or you reputation, etc.  Do you want to risk it?

If you might lose something that you hold dearly, my advice to you is – don’t try to be yourself.  It is bad advice to give someone and tell them to be themselves without knowing the facts.  You need to know when you try to do this, you are not harming yourself or someone you love.

Also, you don’t want to be yourself, if you are one of the below.

  • you have a terrible personality.
  • you are too shy.
  • you are a selfish bastard.
  • you are arrogant.


If you think you are a decent person and it causes no harm to yourself and others, you can then decide to be yourself after all.  What You should know, sometimes lying is the right thing to do.  Brutally honest may be harmful to yourself and others.

To be yourself is actually quite easy.  If you don’t care about losing the relationship, anything is possible.  Just do whatever you feel like and do not be concerned about the opinions of others.  Others could choose to accept the real you or end the relationship – for you don’t care.  It is me, take it or leave it.

A don’t care attitude is all it takes.

Before you decide to be the real you, you might want to design a better you.  The improved version of you.  It is more fun and more fulfilling to become a better person than you currently are.

You want to be.

  • more good looking
  • more knowledgeable
  • more fun and loving
  • have kindliness
  • more sociable
  • more fashionable

Build a mental picture of how that new you is going to be, then take the steps and march forward.  In the course of you becoming yourself.  You might lose a few friends – they are undesirable.  You might need to work harder to gain more knowledge – it will be worth it.  You might step out of your comfort zone – you will have more confidence. It is a new adventure, it is exciting.  At the end, you will have a more fulfilling life than the one you currently have.

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do.  Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors.  Try to be better than yourself.” – William Faulkner.


If you cannot afford to lose your relationship, you have to change yourself.  Even if it means you have to work hard to please someone.  You are changing yourself because you need to and you should do it whole-heartedly.  You have to realize changing in this way is not giving in.  You are doing it out of love.  Your change yourself because you love them; rather than sticking to the bad or ugly you.

I give you two examples.  A bad mother changing herself, the old selfish, into a new loving mother.  Changing yourself to embrace the one you love is a  beautiful thing to do.  Changing yourself to be a more responsible father who cares for his family is a noble deed.  Change is not hard, if it is what your heart truly desired.  Love is the most powerful force in this world.

We don’t want to be a selfish person.  We have to be the role model for everyone around us.  That is the you that you want to be, not someone who only think of ourselves, but someone who loves to care for others.

You will be a more beautiful you and this is how it ought to be.  You have to love yourself, but love others more.

Signing off



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