How to be a Good Husband

I often have arguments with my wife, I mean very often.  So that is why sometimes I wondered – how to be a good husband?  The schools I went to have never taught me anything on this subject.  How are we suppose to know?  I married many years ago, I tried my best but it seems like my best was never good enough.

When I was young, my parents have never taught me anything as well.  It is very strange – this should be one of the most important subjects that we man should know.  No wonder there are so many divorces.  How can we have a happy marriage if we don’t know what to do?

Therefore, I did a bit of research and I also asked many of my friends for their opinions.  Here is what I found.

Be who you are

You have to be absolutely true to yourself and you will be true to your wife.  Be who you are and never pretend.  If you don’t like something, just tell her that you don’t like it.  Then after some time, she will start to understand you and she will know what you like and what you dislike.  With understanding, it will bring harmony to your family life.

Love her

This is obvious.  When you love each other, you will be able to sort out the differences.  You can tolerate the different between the two of you.  You need to love her for who she is, unconditionally and no reserve.  No only from your heart and behaviour; you need to tell her with your words.  (Women are strange creatures, our loving actions are not enough.  Why?)  I cannot advise you the frequency of how many times that you tell her – I love you, it depends on your lady and you have to figure it out yourselves.

husband and wife

Perform your duties

There are many things which need to be done within the household.  Like taking out the garbage, help washes the dishes, mow the lawn and do the laundry, etc.  Also, you might have to cook once a while.  You should know, it is very tiring if she has to do this everyday.  It will be more difficult when you have children; children are very demanding.  As a good husband, it is very important that you do your fair share.

It is also your duty to make enough money for a comfortable living.  I am old fashion and it was the way it uses to be. Nowadays, it is very hard for a single income family to cope.  Both of you might have to have a job to put food on the table and give your kids an education.  I believe women need to feel secure, so if your income is too low then it will be very hard on your marriage.

Never lie, never cheat

You should never lie to her, but sometimes white lies are okay – if you don’t want her to have the burden of knowing something bad.  Never cheat on her, 100% and don’t even think about it.  It will destroy your relationship totally and she will never trust you anymore.  You are a decent man and you don’t cheat on your wife.

Musical Instruments


You need to compliment her for her achievements in whatever she is doing, such as the mother of your children.  If she works, you can compliment her work in the company.  Tell her that she is special to you and you are proud of her.  Have faith in her endeavours and give her the support if she needs.  Make her feel special.


Communication is one of the most important things in any relationship.  Without communication, there will be no understanding and no relationship.  Put aside few minutes every day for this; not while you are watching TV or reading the paper.  Listen to what she has to say and response accordingly.  If you disagree on some of the things that she said, just keep your mouth shut.

I have something interesting for you.  One of my friends told me these.

“When a woman goes to a man with a problem. The man will offer the best solution he can.  The real problem is women don’t want an answer;  they just want you to listen and relate to their problem. That is not the way men think.”

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterwards.”

Respect one another

Respect one another mean you do not criticise her, nothing hurts a woman more than criticism from her husband, especially if it is in front of your friends and in public.  Learn to keep your opinions to yourself, choose a good time to tell her to want you to think.  Choose your words carefully so she doesn’t feel like it is a criticism.  Accept her for who she is and don’t try to change her.

“Women marry men hoping they can change them and men marry women hoping they will never change.”


Extras don’t mean that you don’t have to do them.  These extras are equally important as the others.  Show your affection to her often and a cuddle or two.  Be spontaneous, take her out on a date; you don’t have to spend a lot of money.  Maybe just a cup of coffee in a nice coffee shop somewhere out of the ordinary.  Also remembered that she married you doesn’t mean that you own her.

You can have times that you want to do something separately.  You go with your friends and she goes to hers.  You are husband and wife, it is a vow that you both choose.  It means that it is out of choice and for love, it is not mean that you are obliged to stay with her for life.  She is your wife and she also is your friend, so if you can treat her and respect her as a friend, your marriage will last.

I will list out all these things for you as a summary.

The duties of a husbandSewing Machines

  • trust her completely
  • tell her you love her every day
  • show affection often
  • take out the garbage without being told
  • help wash the dishes
  • be a gentleman
  • accept her for who she is
  • do not criticise her
  • open doors for her
  • take her heavy shopping bags for her
  • let her has her own credit card
  • listen to what she says
  • keep your promises
  • never lie – white lies are okay occasionally
  • never cheat on her
  • be spontaneous, go out for a date
  • compliment her for her achievements
  • cherish her
  • don’t put her down in front of friends and family
  • spend quality time with her
  • be yourself
  • don’t try to change her
  • do not argue with her
  • love her without conditions
  • surprise her with little things
  • be a great father to her kids
  • have faith in what she does
  • don’t look at other women when you is around
  • fix up the things that are not working in the house quickly
  • cook for her sometimes
  • tell her you appreciate her
  • communicate with her every day
  • do not disagree with her
  • tell her what you like and what you don’t like
  • Click here to buy this book: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
  • give her hugs and kisses when she needs them
  • earn enough for a comfortable living
  • apologise when you are wrong
  • have a good sense of humour
  • tell her that she look beautiful often

I have tried to list all of the things I can.   If you find something is missing please leave me a message below.  I wish we could all be good husbands to our wives.

Signing off

-MisterWailorThe husband's secret - book

Before you go, I want to recommend a book.

USA Today – “The Husband’s Secret is so good, you won’t be able to keep it to yourself.”

Emily Giffin, Best-Selling Author – “Shocking, complex and thought-provoking, this is a story reading groups will devour.  A knockout.”

Anne Lamott – “It’s a knowing, touching, and entertaining page-turner.  What a wonderful writer – smart, wise, funny.”



Jerry · November 11, 2014 at 12:18 pm

You have asked men to be prefect, unfortunately no one is 100%. Compromise is the key to sucessful relationship. May be you can write the next article – how to be a good wife.

    admin · November 11, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    Hi Jerry,

    Thanks for your comment. Yes, you are correct. Compromise is the key to a successful relationship.


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