How to be a Father

Are you a father?  Do you know how to be a father?

You might already know, being a father is the best, but also one of the hardest job.  I am a father myself, I know how difficult it is.  Also, we had to learn by doing without any lesson, what are we suppose to do?


A father’s job is to teach his children noble human values.  These values are kindness, gentleness, bravery, righteous, honesty, diligent………and the most of all the purpose of life.

So, if you do not already possess these values, you have to learn and acquire them.  You need to set good examples for your children.  You cannot preach them what you don’t practice; the children can tell that you are a hypocrite, your lessons will not be effective.  Now you see how difficult it is to be a good father.

How do you set examples?

I will tell you how I set examples for my son.  These are true events that happened and my son saw what I did.


We went shopping in a supermarket.  The check out lady mistakenly given me more than the correct change.  I tell her and gave the money back to her.

One time my son played a tennis match.  At the end, the coach gave him a trophy that he didn’t win, there was a mistake in the score calculation.  I told my son to return the trophy to the rightful owner.


A lady was sitting in her car looking quite distressed, her car had run out of petrol and was blocking up the parking area inside a shopping centre.  I went and asked her if she needs help.  She said she would like us to help push the car into one of the empty parking space, so she can go and buy some petrol.

My son and I helped her push her car and she was thankful that we did.  There were plenty of people walked pass her, but we were the only one who offered help.


I think many of us has done this before.  We give money to our kids and tell them to drop the money in the hat of the beggar in the street.  Or we donate money to charity.  It is good to show children that what we have done and they could follow our example.


We need to teach our children what is right and wrong.  Nowadays, there are many programmes on TV and movies which gave them wrong ideas. Sometimes there is only a fine line between right and wrong, even adults can’t tell, how could children?  I often discussed with my son and tell him what we saw on TV and explain to him.

For example:  Is it right for a hungry child to steal a loaf of bread?


Bravery doesn’t mean we need to be heroes.

“Don’t be afraid to ask your teacher questions,” I told him.  “Other children might laugh at you and think you are stupid, don’t worry, it is just what they think.  But if you don’t ask the question when you don’t understand, you are really stupid.”

Be brave and tell the truth when you did something wrong.

Be brave and say no to those people who want to take advantage of you.



One summer holiday, I asked my son to do a project at home.  My wife and I had to go to work and he stayed home all day by himself.

I encouraged him to do something which will take a lot of time.  He chose to make a chainmail, one of those protective armour worn by soldiers in the iron age.  It took him few hours a day for one and a half month to finish.  The idea was to get him practice his patience.  The lesson was – good things take time.

These are only some of the virtues that I taught my son.  I am trying my best to educate him, so he can learn to be a good father, a good son and a good man.  I have no desire for him to be a rich man.

The trick is you have to be the person that you want your child to be.  There is no short-cut and you cannot pretend.  It has to come from your heart.


This is the chainmail my son made. It made up of thousands of rings by hand, one as a time.

Teach your child the meaning of life.

If you don’t know what it is, you have to go and find out.  I have other articles on my website – The Search for the Meaning of Life which will tell you what I think the meaning of life is. You don’t have to agree with me, and each person see it differently.

Give them the idea and let them think, it will let them understand more about what life is suppose to be.  Instead of life is just having fun or life is just money.  Would you rather live a life with purpose or one without?

I wish everyone could be a good father; then we will have a world which has good children.  Our world would become a better place.  Children are our future.  It is our choice to make our world a better place or destroy this beautiful world that we live in.

“A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be.” Frank A. Clark

This quote sums it up beautifully.  I wish every man could be a good father.

It is just a coincidence that Father’s Day is coming up in America when I am writing this article.

Happy Father’s Day



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