Can you take constructive criticism?
There are some people who can’t. Do you know why?
These people who cannot take constructive criticism are different from the rest of us. They believed they are perfect and they never do anything wrong. Because of this thinking, they don’t understand why people criticise them.
When you criticise them. Either constructive or destructive, they take it the same way. They cannot tell the difference, for them there is no difference. You are attacking their ego and you are attacking them personally. Also, because of this ego issue, they never changed. I am sure you have met people like this before. Their personality is selfish and inconsiderate, all because they think they are the centre of the universe. They don’t consider other people’s need and other people’s feeling.
It is quite unpleasant to live with or work with someone like this. The way to deal with them is to ignore them. Or try to stay away from them. You shouldn’t be friend with such people, for they will not give any value or enrich your life. They love to take advantage of others and never give anything in return.
The other reason why some people cannot take constructive criticism is they don’t want change, change is pain. I had a colleague who complains about his job and never did anything to change the situation.
So what is constructive criticism?
Constructive criticism is an advice given to help someone change for the better. It is offered in a friendly manner and the purpose is to help someone make an improvement. For example, if your friends have given you an advice telling you what is best for you. You should thank them for doing that. If they don’t care about you, why would they tell you? Would you see someone you never met before and give them an advice? No, you wouldn’t. Therefore, if your friend gives you an advice means that he care for you.
Why do we want to invite constructive criticism?
There are few reasons for doing that.
- You want to be a better person. As a person, we want to improve all aspects of our lives and strive to be better every single day. Improvement makes our life more interesting and more rewarding. For examples, you practise your sport and play better and you win more games. You improve your skills in your work and you make more money. Before you can improve, you have to find out where is your weakness.
- Improve your relationship with someone. When we have a bad relationship with someone and we don’t know where we went wrong. Invite the other person to give you constructive criticism. Ask them why they don’t like you. Then you will find out the reason why you have a bad relationship and you can take action to improve the relationship. Most people just guess and they will miss and never be able to understand the real reason. Or else, you can blame the other person, but that never help to improve your relationship with them.
- Be a better leader. Inviting your team members to tell you where you need improvement will make you a better leader. You are the leader doesn’t mean that you know everything. Your team members will respect you for doing this. Firstly, you have guts to take criticism. Secondly, you are willing to change.
One word of warning before you go ahead to invite someone to criticise you. You have to choose someone who has a positive personality and a good outlook of life, not someone who think life is suffering. People who are negative never gives constructive criticism, for they don’t know how to do things constructively. Negative people are destructive, they like to tear things apart.
For many growth is pain and change is pain. For me, growth and change are fun. The part that when I don’t know what is going to come is most exciting. Life would be boring if we know everything that is going to happen tomorrow. That is the same reason why many people love to travel, try exotic cuisines and extreme sports.
Only a brave man can take criticism with a smile. It is a tool which could help you to be a better person. The reason why you want to be a better person for life will be more fun and more interesting when you step up another level. I am a gamer and I can give you an example relating to gaming, but it will apply to life as well. Who would want to play the same level in a game over and over again? We want to level up and be better. It is so exciting and fun to explore something that we have never experience before.